PART 1 Confusion: On route to healing
The first time it was shock. The second time it was defeat. The last time, confusion.
Everyone was talking to me clear as day yet I was in a state of utter confusion. Like it was a language I had never heard before.
There came a point where not just me but everyone in the room seemed to be dumbfounded or tearing up. I completely zoned out.
"I kept thinking no. Is he joking? He has to be joking right now, or talking to someone else? I don't even know this guy .. he can not be talking to me."
I was crying hard, everything went fuzzy. I just thought this can not be happening again. What the fuck is going on!?
Everything that came after happened so quickly, it was a total blur. I was taken to the hospital to get a rape kit done. This was followed by people repeatedly asking the same questions.
Over and over and over to a point were everything turned to just sound and I disappeared into the noise.